The Blanket Paradox: Is it Really a “Comfort” Zone?
There is something I call “The Blanket Paradox.” It’s something many of us have faced in one way or another. You go to bed with a light blanket, but it gets colder and colder. The blanket is not keeping out all of the cold. You are getting chilly.
Across the room is a chest of drawers. In it is a thicker blanket. But to get to that blanket, you have to get out of bed and walk across a cold tiled floor in the freezing cold. You have to face bitter cold for a few seconds to obtain an entire night of warmth.
What happens?
In most cases, we stay in bed shivering until the cold gets so bad that we finally throw off the thin blanket and run across the freezing cold to get the blanket.
We often talk about a comfort zone. But is it really comfortable for you? Think about it. If you were really comfortable would you even investigate changing. It’s more likely you are like the person shivering under that thin blanket. You are uncomfortable, but not yet ready to experience a short period of a challenging and, yes, more uncomfortable task to become truly comfortable in the long run.
Often what we call a “comfort zone” is simply a “familiar zone.” Like Hamlet we are willing to “bear the ills we have than fly to those we know not of/ thus conscience makes cowards of us all/And the native hue of resolution/ is sicklied o’er by the pale cast of thought/and enterprises of great pitch and moment/in this regard turn awry.”
Other times, it is more like physics than great literature. More like Newton than Shakespeare. I call it emotional inertia. Newton said that an object at rest would remain at rest until acted upon by a force sufficient to overcome the mass of the object.
I am that object. And I need sufficient motivation in order to move. I may not even be comfortable there, but I’m not uncomfortable enough to change. In addiction treatment circles this is sometimes called hitting bottom. Of course, I might also be motivated by a vision of something better than where I’m at.
The problem is that change nearly always involves work. There I said it. I used the dreaded four-letter word – W-O-R-K. Even worse you might have to – dare I say it – make some short-term sacrifices for long-term gains.
We actually want the change, we just don’t want the work that goes with it.
Also, sometimes our comfort zone is not a comfort zone but a safe zone. Or at least that’s how we perceive it. Safety is important. I am generally a risk-averse person. But I also understand that nothing is absolutely safe and I take calculated risks usually with several backup plans. But eventually, I have to take a step of faith. Once in a while, I fall flat on my face, but more often than not if I take reasonable risks, I get more than I expect.
As the old saying goes, Ships are safe tied up to dock. But that’s not what ships are built for.
But huddling in an unfulfilling life just for safety’s sake is not at all comfortable.
So, is your comfort zone really comfortable? Or is it just familiar, safe, and effortless?
Maybe it’s time we crawl out of bed, brave the cold, and get that blanket. Only then will we find an authentic comfort zone.